Self-soothing techniques

Written By Nira Shah

Self-soothing techniques are strategies and practices you can use to ground yourself during moments of stress, anxiety, or emotional distress. These techniques aim to regulate emotions and provide a sense of comfort and relief. While they may not eliminate emotional distress 100%, they can bring the intensity of the emotional experience down so that you can not feel overwhelmed and move forward more effectively.

Below are ideas of self-soothing; identify 3-5 that could work for you and keep the list somewhere accessible, so that during intense moments, you can turn to these practices to try out.

THOUGHTS

  • Count to 100 very slowly.

  • List the colors in the room you are in, include colors of even the smallest items in the room.

  • Describe your environment in detail, including objects, sounds, textures, colors, smells, shapes, numbers, and temperature.

  • Play a “categories” game with yourself by identifying a category (e.g., writers, songs, types of dogs, states that start with the letter M, cities, etc.) and listing as many things as you can think of that would go into this category.

  • Describe an everyday activity in great detail. For example, describe a meal that you cook, or exactly what you do when you get ready in the morning/before you go to bed.

  • Read something, saying each word to yourself, or read each letter backwards so that you focus on the letters and not on the meaning of the words.

  • Say a safety statement. E.g., ‘My name is _______________, I am safe right now. I am in the present, not the past. I am located in _____________ and the date is ____________ and the time is ____________”.

SENSES

By stimulating our senses, we can focus our attention on external distractions. Focusing on something intense in our environment can capture your immediate awareness and connect you strongly with the sensation versus the painful event or panic.

TASTE

Strong flavored candies or foods such as

  • Strong cinnamon candies or chew a cinnamon stick

  • Sour candies

  • Strong Mints

  • Hot sauce

  • Wasabi peas

TOUCH

When using this strategy look to touch things that have a distinct texture or temperature.

  • Run cold or very warm water over your hands/wrists and face

  • Hola piece of ice in your hand until it melts or stick your hand in a bowl of ice

  • Grab tightly to your chair and hold it as tightly as you can. Feel the tension building in your hands and arms. Gently release

  • Touch objects with sensory experiences: “teeth” of keys or zippers; velvet or velour; soft sweaters; cold steel; scrubbing pad, jewelry etc. Notice how the textures feel on the pads of our fingers. Compare touch experiences of different objects

  • Dig your heels into the floor and notice what sensations there are. Notice the tension in your legs and the pressure against the soles of your feet.

  • Jump up and down

  • Ball your toes in your shoes and feel the tension in your toes.

  • Press your back against the chair or a wall in the room.

  • Put a rubber band around your wrist, pull the rubber band and snap it against your wrist.

  • Stand under a very hard and hot shower.

  • Pet your pet

SMELL

Choose a strong scent to connect immediately with the experience of smell.

  • Spray a full spray of perfume or cologne on paper or your wrist and smell it

  • Air fresheners

  • Onions or Garlic

  • Strong spices: curry, cumin, cinnamon

  • Incense: oils, scent sticks

  • Noticing various scents either pleasant or unpleasant in your daily living: walk by your favorite restaurant, walk by the dumpster

HEARING

  • Choose a song, a story, a poem, or sound that gets your attention

  • Listen to loud music of your choosing, your favorite songs, or create a playlist for different emotions

  • Blow a horn or buzzer several times

  • Create a playlist of jarring sounds: horns, buzzers, airplane or engine noises

  • Close your eyes and focus on all the noises surrounding you; observe the ones that are closest and furthest.

VISION

Choose imagery that holds your attention and you can immediately connect with visually.

  • Pick an abstract piece of art or object focus on it, and try describe in detail what you see

  • Save a set of pleasant images to your phone or to your digital device to pull up.

  • Walk outside and stare at the sky and the clouds

  • Take a mindful walk and describe what you see

  • In your current environment, slowly scan your surroundings, taking in as many colors, textures, and details as you can.

BREATHWORK/SOMATIC PRACTICES

Relaxing Muscle Tension
(Adapted from the Benson Procedure)
This can be done in the moment with selected muscle groups.

1. Sit in a quiet and comfortable position. If not available, get comfortable in whatever place/position you are in

2. Choose a muscle group to focus on, if available, close your eyes and/or choose a point in the room to focus on

3. Tense the particular muscle or muscle group you are focused on. Try and take a deep breath in at the same time. Hold both for for 3-5 seconds

4. Release slowly the muscle, along with your breath, try and make your outbreath as long as the release in your muscles (6-10 seconds)

5. Repeat with different muscles for 5-10 minutes

Deep Breathing Techniques

  • Extended exhales: I.e., inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 7 counts

  • Boxed breathing: inhale deeply for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale slowly for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, and repeat

  • Deep inhales and exhales 10x (counting), once you hit 10, start again. Focus on sensations of the breath, the rising and falling of the chest, etc.

  • Alternate nostril breathing is shown to decrease physical symptoms of anxiety

Nira Shah
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